I got to learn something special about my body's health. I was perusing a mountain biking forum when I came upon a discussion about bike saddles. The original poster was looking for a more comfortable saddle for long distance rides. Someone replied with a link to a study on saddle designs.
It turns out that many bike saddles are poorly designed. The bulk of your bulk when seated rest squarely on your perineum. My seat is similar to this picture. Don't know what a perineum is?
This is it. It's that spot between the recreation area and the dump. Having the seat pressing against this area cuts off blood flow to the pecker. Over time, it could cause damage. Your wang can get out of whack, making it hard to whack. Women don't have wangs, but the pressure of the seat could cause discomfort. Or comfort. Whatever. A wangless friend once told me that she could get off driving with tight jeans. But I digress.
I went out and bought this saddle.
It has gel material which is nice. It also has a "comfort channel" that moves the pressure points off of the peepee anchor. I didn't get a chance to try it out yet, but I'm hoping it will work to stop the head numbing, errr... numbing.
And since this is a new month, I stopped by Borders Books to pick up some magazines.
Hehe. Not that kind. I picked up Superbike and Sport Rider. I also picked up Rocky Balboa and Casino Royale. Then I waited in the queue.
There were only two cashiers and a line was starting to form. So another salesperson opened her register for me. She had a pierced nose and two lip rings. She dressed in black and had dark features. I wouldn't describe her as goth though. Maybe more bohemian. I know she wasn't northern European nor Asian. But she was pretty.
She vaguely looked like Caterina Murino (she was in Casino Royale. Coinkidink!), so I guess she was a Mediterranean breed.
Bohemian Chick: Do you have a Rewards Card?
(I whip it out)
BC: It looks like you have a personal shopper day. Would you like to use it?
(At this point, she could have told me my hair was on fire and I wouldn't have heard a word. I just stood there with my mouth agape.)
BC: You don't know what that is, right? (long explanation that gave me time to look at her some more.)
Me: Are you always so polite and cheerful? I only ask because you are seriously making me feel really special here.
Now here's the rub. I can think that kind of stuff, but I can never say it. Now I would have loved to give her that line, but all I could manage was some incomprehensible murmur of acknowledgment.
I was Helen Keller. Wah-ter! Wah-ter! I couldn't speak in anything other than non-human grunts. I also misspelled my name when I signed the credit card slip. Luckily I played it off by pretending that my pen was dry. But it just goes to show you:
THAT IS WHY I AM STILL SINGLE!!!
Fuck. At least this time it wasn't a shemale.
No comments:
Post a Comment