Jane, Get Me Off This Crazy Thing!

I haven't cried. Indian Girl has moved away and I haven't cried. She cried. Machu Pichu cried. I still haven't cried. Weird. And I don't know why.

I've been feeling drained this last week. Sure as shit, life has been giving me the roller coaster. MP said a good cry would do wonders, but what can you do if you can't cry? I guess normally that is when you would turn to a good friend. Ironically, the good friend leaving is causing some depression that would require a good friend. Damn catch 22.

Indian Girl was a major catalyst in my life. I guess the fact that she knew she would only be here for 3 months made her take full advantage of every minute. To an outsider, it would have looked like she was burning the candle at both ends. However, I think she just compressed into 3 months what some people take 3 years to experience.

Adventuring, exploring, beaches, swimming, snorkeling, hiking, dining, making friends, meeting people, volunteering, playing, doggies, dancing, drinking, partying, relaxing, walking, jogging, romancing, and having sex. That's the kind of stuff IG did. But she didn't do it all herself. She took MP and me along for the ride. And I think I got to experience more in three months than I did in three years.



So today I've been depressed. The sad thing for me is that I'm not the type to go out and share my problems with anyone. Normally IG and MP would pick up that I'm not in a right state of mind, and would offer to talk, cheer me up, or just give me a hug. Stupid catch 22 though. IG isn't here, and if I see MP, it would just be a load that she doesn't need. I think I should have just screamed out, "FUCK!," in my helmet today.

Yeah, I rode my motorcycle today. I think I just wanted some time by myself. Can't get more by myself than in a helmet going 60+ mph. Then I did something I never did before. When I got to the canyon lookout, I got a soda, sat under a tree, and listened to Hallelujah on my mp3 player. Did I feel better? I really don't know. It did make me want to write though. So now I'm writing.

This morning I watched City of Angels again. It's about an angel who becomes human to experience everything human, including love. Then his love dies shortly after they get together. The angel was wracked with depression until another angel asked that if he knew this would happen, would he have become human. He then realizes that even though he was hurting now, what he experienced was worth the world to him, and he was able to begin healing.



So even though it feels like I have a big, empty hole in my heart, that's just an illusion. It's a false pain that will pass. Because the truth is that meeting IG has stuffed my heart with so many good things, my heart is now bigger. And the empty feeling is not really emptiness. It's just my heart waiting to accept more.

And pass me the low-sodium shoyu.

Back Off and Island Girl

Is it normal for friends to hug? I see people do it. I used to do it a lot too when I was younger. What is the protocol on hugging? What's the etiquette? Do you RSVP your intentions first? Why am I so uptight about it?



So I have friends who hug. They seem so normal when they hug. They must have had practice. Perhaps some coaching. When I went to hugging school, the teacher treated me like a leper. She kept saying, "This is my dance-space, that is your dance-space." She wouldn't let me break into her dance-space, so hugging never got beyond touching her shoulders.



I'm so lousy at hugging. I'm so out of practice, I look like a goon when I try to hug. I have no idea what to do with my hands. Do I rub the back? No wait, it would be like I'm trying to undo the bra strap. Do I grab the ass? Hmmm, I better not do that if I'm hugging another guy.

I'm so hug-incompetent that I usually just let my hand dangle in mid air while I half-hug the huggee. The only one more incompetent than me when it comes to hugging is Pres. GWB. He makes baby Jesus cry.



Handshakes are a different story. Handshakes don't involve close, personal contact. I'm good at handshakes. Not the street kind though. The professional handshake is my forte. I learned how to shake hands from politicians when I was a brat. Of course, the downside is that you lose out when you choose a handshake over a hug when it comes to well endowed women.



When I was in college, every day was hug day.

Hey girls, good morning. *hug*
Hey, it's lunch time. *hug*
Wow, I haven't seen you in an hour. *hug*
How was class? *hug*

But then I started work as a teacher. Now let me tell you, you have to be really careful as a teacher. Avoid body contact as much as possible. Some kids still think like kids and like to hang on to adults. Other kids don't realize that they're becoming adults and that it is not proper to get into a teacher's personal space. Worse, some kids don't realize that they're growing these:



And that's something you DO NOT WANT TO PUT NEAR YOUR TEACHER! Parents, please train your kids right so I don't get more grey hairs in my beard.

Personal space has become very important to me. I set up barriers around me. If a kid gets too close, I either shun them away, explain personal space, or casually walk away. It's become an art form. I hear they will soon start competitions on protecting personal space from kids. It's viewed as a martial art in Belgium.



Due to the most evil and vile profession, hugging in school can cause one to be labeled a predator. I know I make it out to be a really scary thing, but once you get used to it, you don't even have to think about it.



When I walk through school, I keep my shields up. Unfortunately, it seems work has spilled over into my personal life. I think that is why I suck at hugging. Have you ever tried to hug someone who had their shields and armor up? You feel hard.




So now you know my predicament. For the sake of the hugs, please, hug a Nonwheezer. Only if you're over 18 though. And no grab ass if you're a guy.

On a different note: Be careful of crazy Japanese interpreters. One read my shirt that says, "looking for a Japanese girlfriend," then she called all her tourist over to show them. She even tried to set me up with one of the single ones. An older couple asked to take a pic with me, then the husband told his wife she could stay with me. I'm not sure if I was blessed or cursed that I could understand enough words to make out what they were saying.

Now for the island girl part:



There was this pretty, though young, Hawaiian waitress at the pizzeria. Well, I thought she was pretty, but the girl I was with didn't share my enthusiasm. Being the creative, inventive, clever guy I am, I came up with a come-on line.

"I'm a 34 year old school teacher. I live at home. I drive a Yaris. I ride a cheap Suzuki and a cheap mountain bike. I crash every other week on the mountain bike. I look like a troll. My hair is messy and gets oily real quick. I write blogs. I have a myspace account. Did you find any of that attractive?"

Too bad this was in my mind. I don't really have the guts to say I have a myspace account.