Youth in Asia

Just another short posting. This time the theme is Asia. That's right kiddies. Asia.

Asia is the world's largest continent. It is also where we find China. Right now, China is very important in the world. China is hosting the Olympics, banning the eating of dogs... temporarily, subjugating Tibet, and poisoning our pets and children with toxic materials.

But the food is excellent.

Last week Machu Pichu and I headed to the local Bon Dance. Tattoo Girl was supposed to come along, but got tied up. If you don't know, a bon dance (o-bon) is a festival celebrating and remembering the departed. What you would see at a bon dance would be taiko drums, food, games, and Japanese country line dancing.



Before I left for my month long mainland journey, MP, TG, and I had planned to go to a bon dance together. I was supposed to get my mother to teach them how to dance. I, of course, would have conveniently disappeared during that time.

So here we see MP in the ring dancing. Clazy Lound-eye.



Continuing the Asian theme, I had a dinner date with Botany Babe. I picked her up in the evening. Since it was a special event, I dressed to the nines. I had a t-shirt, an oversized pair of basketball shorts, and slippers. I looked HOT!



We headed to a local grocery store and bought frozen saimin. Then we hit a Chinese take-out around the corner. The proprietress was in a good mood apparently since she wasn't yelling at the customers or her husband. We got some beef broccoli and char siu.

Next, we borrowed my mother's (turns out she's integral to this blog entry) pot and saimin bowls.

About 20 minutes later... Voila!



During dinner, I tried to teach BB how to say "shiru" and "gochisousamadeshita". She came close on the first one. A lot better than MP, who not only messed up the word for soup, but also messed up the name of my friend on their first meeting.

When eating saimin/ramen, it is customary to slurp the noodles. BB, God bless her, worked on her slurping until she ran out of noodles.



Burp! 'scuse me.

Reorienting my TV

One thing I really enjoyed when I visited Japan was all the cool commercials on tv. So now I'm sitting here watching YouTube again.

Yokoso!

Enough with the sissy-mary poetry crap. I had these pictures on my computer for over a year. I figured it was time to do something with them. I decided to force you guys to look at them. It's that horrible cliche of visiting a friend and being forced to watch the slides of some boring vacation.

Without further gilding the Lilly, here is my 2005 Japan vacation.

Back Off and Island Girl

Is it normal for friends to hug? I see people do it. I used to do it a lot too when I was younger. What is the protocol on hugging? What's the etiquette? Do you RSVP your intentions first? Why am I so uptight about it?



So I have friends who hug. They seem so normal when they hug. They must have had practice. Perhaps some coaching. When I went to hugging school, the teacher treated me like a leper. She kept saying, "This is my dance-space, that is your dance-space." She wouldn't let me break into her dance-space, so hugging never got beyond touching her shoulders.



I'm so lousy at hugging. I'm so out of practice, I look like a goon when I try to hug. I have no idea what to do with my hands. Do I rub the back? No wait, it would be like I'm trying to undo the bra strap. Do I grab the ass? Hmmm, I better not do that if I'm hugging another guy.

I'm so hug-incompetent that I usually just let my hand dangle in mid air while I half-hug the huggee. The only one more incompetent than me when it comes to hugging is Pres. GWB. He makes baby Jesus cry.



Handshakes are a different story. Handshakes don't involve close, personal contact. I'm good at handshakes. Not the street kind though. The professional handshake is my forte. I learned how to shake hands from politicians when I was a brat. Of course, the downside is that you lose out when you choose a handshake over a hug when it comes to well endowed women.



When I was in college, every day was hug day.

Hey girls, good morning. *hug*
Hey, it's lunch time. *hug*
Wow, I haven't seen you in an hour. *hug*
How was class? *hug*

But then I started work as a teacher. Now let me tell you, you have to be really careful as a teacher. Avoid body contact as much as possible. Some kids still think like kids and like to hang on to adults. Other kids don't realize that they're becoming adults and that it is not proper to get into a teacher's personal space. Worse, some kids don't realize that they're growing these:



And that's something you DO NOT WANT TO PUT NEAR YOUR TEACHER! Parents, please train your kids right so I don't get more grey hairs in my beard.

Personal space has become very important to me. I set up barriers around me. If a kid gets too close, I either shun them away, explain personal space, or casually walk away. It's become an art form. I hear they will soon start competitions on protecting personal space from kids. It's viewed as a martial art in Belgium.



Due to the most evil and vile profession, hugging in school can cause one to be labeled a predator. I know I make it out to be a really scary thing, but once you get used to it, you don't even have to think about it.



When I walk through school, I keep my shields up. Unfortunately, it seems work has spilled over into my personal life. I think that is why I suck at hugging. Have you ever tried to hug someone who had their shields and armor up? You feel hard.




So now you know my predicament. For the sake of the hugs, please, hug a Nonwheezer. Only if you're over 18 though. And no grab ass if you're a guy.

On a different note: Be careful of crazy Japanese interpreters. One read my shirt that says, "looking for a Japanese girlfriend," then she called all her tourist over to show them. She even tried to set me up with one of the single ones. An older couple asked to take a pic with me, then the husband told his wife she could stay with me. I'm not sure if I was blessed or cursed that I could understand enough words to make out what they were saying.

Now for the island girl part:



There was this pretty, though young, Hawaiian waitress at the pizzeria. Well, I thought she was pretty, but the girl I was with didn't share my enthusiasm. Being the creative, inventive, clever guy I am, I came up with a come-on line.

"I'm a 34 year old school teacher. I live at home. I drive a Yaris. I ride a cheap Suzuki and a cheap mountain bike. I crash every other week on the mountain bike. I look like a troll. My hair is messy and gets oily real quick. I write blogs. I have a myspace account. Did you find any of that attractive?"

Too bad this was in my mind. I don't really have the guts to say I have a myspace account.