Mountain Biking Rat

Riley and I had about two and a half hours to kill on the mountain so we decided to make yet another mtb video. God knows my mtb videos are sooooo popular. They get literally hundred of hits on youtube. (sarcasm)



I bet if I got video of those girls in boyshorts that we saw earlier, the hits would go through the roof.

Hyper-Perverted-Paranoid-Stalker

How was your weekend? I had a hillbilly ho-down of a weekend myself.



My friends, Riley and Lornette, and my classmate, Sherri, and I got together on Friday night for a pizza dinner. I guess eating one of the most fattiest foods around (and most delicious) is a good idea when three people are dieting. The pizzeria of choice? Brick Oven. mmmmmmm. I can feel my gravity increasing, but it tastes sooo good.



I was hoping to reconnect ties to those I knew in my younger years. I'm realizing that I lost contact with those I grew up with. The only one I've keep in close contact with lives a couple of blocks away from me, and tends to scratch his private parts in public places.

So I was hoping to have a fun night with Sherri. But isn't life funny? Earlier that day I had an incident with a student. I pretty much screwed up, and it put me in a downer mood the whole weekend. So instead of the happy-go-lucky Biker Teacher-type character, I think I turned out to be something more akin to an undertaker. Sherri, on the other hand, is still rather attractive and full of energy. Seems like she burns the candle at both ends, but she does this by choice. Mistress of her own destiny and all that.



(yeah, I'm going to catch hell for that pic)

Boy did I screw up though. I sometimes type my name in Yahoo and see what kind of webpages come up. Apparently I'm some kind of stage actor or play director or something. Just for kicks, I typed in Sherri's name to see what came up. (No, I was not looking for nude pictures... yet) A photographer website popped up. There were some black and white scenery pictures accredited to Sherri. Unfortunately, when I tried to ask her about this, I came off as a pervert stalker. Sigh. Pervert, I can live with. Stalker? Ack!

At that point, I decided the best course of action was to just shut up and drink a beer.



And another.

The next day I got to ride my Marin on the Kokee trails. It was the official test of my new frame. I must say that I am pleased with the purchase. The bike handles much better than the old X6. However, I'm still sketchy on the Cable section- a steep, slippery, downhill.



Our normal mtb rides consist of two 4 mile downhill runs. Although it's downhill, the Kokee trails are very difficult, and also includes a few tough, big climbs. It's not a trail for the weak. Screw up and you can go falling down a cliff. The trail also starts at 2500 feet elevation.



For the last few months, I've been the only one to ride the rough sections on both runs. The other guys use the paved road to bypass the difficult uphill sections. I, on the other hand, seem to be a glutton for punishment.

Or is it because they're avoiding me? Great. Perverted-Paranoid-Stalker. It keeps getting better.

Mundane Adventure

Date: May 5, 2007
Soundtrack: Queen - Bicycle Race

Don't need to watch the video. Just listen to the music to set the mood.



I'd decided to get a new bike. My Haro X6 was an ok bike to begin with, but as I gained experience riding, I learned that it was not the bike I needed. You see, the X6's geometry matches other brands' XC bikes. XC bikes have aggressive head angles and short wheelbases to encourage quick turns. They usually have about 4" of suspension travel, and most people use them on smoother trails or dirt roads. However, Waimea Canyon trails are a lot more difficult than a dirt road. I always felt my bike was a bit unstable on the tough stuff.



Ouch. Actually, I only scraped my elbows. I was more embarrassed than hurt.

Riley, Kyle, and Will use freeride/downhill bikes. Their bikes have 7+" of suspension travel to soak up large hits. They also have long wheelbases and slack head angles for stability on the downhill slopes. I've ridden their bikes, and I could notice the stability right away.

But I still crash. But that's not the point.

Kyle's bike felt battleship-stable on the downhills, but turned a little too slow for me. I had to slow down a lot on the fast singletrack sections of the trail. I also crashed his bike by riding way over my head. I ended up unconscious while my so-called friends took pictures.

Riley's bike also felt great. But even with his $1200 downhill fork, I struggled to turn. I went wide on a few turns on the fast sections of the trail. Now my crash on Riley's bike was a freak accident. A branch got stuck in the spokes. I'll show you the mark on my ribs from the pungee sticks if you ask.

I decided I needed a true All-Mountain bike.



Alas, we teachers don't make much money. So instead of getting a complete bike that would cost $2000, I bought a frame for $500. Since I already had upgraded parts on the Haro, I could transfer those parts to the new frame and get good performance.



This is the Marin Rock Springs. It's a 6" travel frame designed to handle rougher trails than the X6. This picture was taken right when the frame arrived. Riley couldn't wait to touch things. If you ever take him for a ride in your car, he will touch every single control he can get his hands on. I'm not sure if it's ADHD or OCD.



Now because Riley makes $60-80k a year doing nothing but complaining, tuning bikes, and building ladder bridges, my bike was 90% complete in 2 hours. He likes to say that he's the hardest working guy around, but if that was true, my bike would still be in pieces.



And here it is. Almost totally complete. Only one part could not transfer from the X6 to the Marin.



The front derailleur. This is the part that moves the chain across the different front sprockets.

So off we went to Bicycle Johns.



It was Saturday. Riley is at the drag races, and I'm getting over a cold. So instead of riding, Kyle, Satoshi, and I went to the local bike shop to get the cables needed to finish my bike. (We didn't get the derailleur yet. Didn't figure it out until later.) Satoshi must have been hating life since my car is a no smoking zone. I quit smoking several years back. Yay me. I've taken up being an asshole instead. Trade one nasty habit for another, I say.

After picking up the parts we needed, Satoshi suggested we get some lunch.



I wanted to go inside to order, but Kyle insisted we go through the drive thru. Great idea. Let's make someone who is coughing and sounds like a frog order through a crap microphone.



Things went bad from the start. The car in front of me was a generic-too-big-to-be-useful-diesel-gigantosaurus-mobile-penis. I couldn't move far enough forward to get right to the mic. I had to project my feeble voice like the fat lady in the opera.

Me: What do you guys want?

Them: Don't know.

KFC: Hellow, welkum two kay ef see. Can eye take yor ordur plees?

Me: So what do you guys want?

Them: Don't know yet.

KFC: Can eye take yor ordur plees?

Me: Um.

Satoshi: Ask if they have that bowl stuff.

Me: Do you guys have that bowl stuff?

KFC: Dee kay ef see bole. Yes.

Me: OK, can I get one of those?

KFC: Wood yoo lik dee meel?

Me: OK.

KFC: Wat kine ov dreenk?

Satoshi: Diet Coke.

Me: Diet Coke.

KFC: No more die et koke. Die et pepschi?

Me: OK. Kyle, what do you want?

Kyle: Get me a 10 piece hot wings.

Me: There's no 10 piece. Only 6 or 18.

Kyle: Six.

Satoshi: Get me six too.

Me: Can we also get 2... 3... 18 pieces of hot wings?

KFC: No more dee hot weengs. Eets a ten meenut weight.

Kyle: Ah, just get the bowl.

Me: OK, make that three bowls altogether.

Satoshi: And two snackers.

Me: And two Snackers.

KFC: Tank yoo four yor ordur. Plees dribe fourward.

(I drive to the next window)

KFC: asdhjaksh tyhe dkiea dreenk?

Me: What?

KFC: asdhjaksh tyhe dkiea dreenk?

Kyle: Diet Pepsi.

Me: Diet Pepsi.

I hate drive thrus.

So we get to Kyle's workplace and eat. I get to see my bike for the first time. It looks really cool in person. Kyle routed the cables and removed the front derailleur so that the bike was usable. I rode that sucker around with an ear to ear grin. It feels more stable and plush than the X6. The front wheel feels slightly farther in front, which should add some confidence on the steep downhills. While the bike feel more stable, it still turns quick. The suspension even works like the magazine reviews said. It rolls over bumps without kicking you up. Of course this is just a test ride in an industrial zone. I can't wait to try it out on the trails. The amazing thing is that even though the suspension is plush enough for a smooth ride, there is no pedal bob. I'm hoping I will be able to tackle the steep hills without having to push the bike.

Pigs and Indecision

Today was the first day trail riding in three weeks. I had missed the previous weekends due to work and people being off island. There were three of us today. It was supposed to be four, but the last guy didn't show.

Now since we're lazy and weak, plus we use all-mountain and freeride bikes, we use trucks to shuttle our bikes to the top of the trail. Before we get started, we usually gear up at the first lookout on the mountain, a place called FM.



I don't know why we call it FM. We just do. We have tons of really stupid nonsensical names for places. I just learned not to ask and to just go with the flow.

At FM there were a bunch of tourists. Among these touri (I want to make my own words) were some pretty, young, blonde girls.



"Excuse me sir. How much do you want for your young daughter? Don't need to get mad sir. Don't worry. I have lots of experience handling young girls. I've dealt with lots of them."

And off we went to the top of the trail.



Lucky us. Right where we park our trucks was a Game Warden. They're the cops on the mountain. While we were unloading our bikes, he came over to talk to us.



All the things we wanted to say started flowing through our minds: F*kk you cops! Die Pigs! Down with the Man! You don't own this land! Power to the people! Kiss my ass, copper! Help help, I'm being oppressed!

"Yes officer, how can we help you?" (Did I mention we're cowards?)

Turns out he just wanted to inform us on the proper areas to ride bikes. And we were so ready to run him through.

Off on the trail we went. Yeehaw! I think it's about 4-5 miles. Lots of fun, lots of pushing. Then we got back to FM.



The other two guys took a car to pick up the truck. I waited with our bikes and gear. I had nothing to do, and I wasn't about to entertain the touri, so I rode around on the new Session 77. It's a cool bike. Seven inches of suspension travel. Top quality components. Hydraulic brakes. Everything. It even has a nifty "lock out," feature.



The lock out feature reduces the length of the front fork's travel. Reducing the travel also reduces the amount of power lost during pedaling. All you need to do is flip a switch and compress the fork.

Then here comes an idiot (me). I flip the switch, pedal the bike up to speed, nail the front brakes while leaning forward.



Luckily I jumped off the seat and got my feet on the ground, thus preventing severe bruising of the ego. A little girl saw me though. I will have to hunt her down and kill her now. She knows too much.

After a second run, we headed off the mountain to eat lunch. My friend asked me to call GSX-RGirrrl. She's one of the girls featured in my Twilight blog/video. We had a friendly dinner together a week ago. You can read it in the Back Off and Island Girl blog. At the end of the dinner, GSX-RGirrrl (hereafter referred to as Girl) suggested we do it again. So my friend wanted to know when Girl wanted to eat.



It turns out this girl does not eat. Maybe my comment about her ass getting fat got to her? Is she starving herself? She said she had to work all week so she couldn't eat. She must be building a pyramid for Pharaohs or something because if she has to work so much that she can't eat, then she must be a slave.

And she shouldn't worry about the size of her ass. It has a nice curve to it. I would try to prove it to her, but I lost my french curve when the hurricane (1992) trashed my house.

I'm guessing Girl is just indecisive. Wishy-washy. Can't make up her mind. Can any other female fill me in on this? To me, deciding on eating is a rather simple manner. I know I'll be hungry in the evening, so I'll shoot out a day that I know isn't a religious or state holiday. Simple. It's not like we're trying to plan a Mars mission.



Oh crap. I think I figured it out. Despite what Sockfoot says, my looks make babies cry. I've had sideshow freaks give me standing ovations. Girl must not like me. Or I probably smell bad. Hmmm... so I think it would be best to fire the first salvo. If she doesn't like me then too bad. I'll eat double portions of dinner hahahaha! And I won't have to worry about my ass getting fat. Though it is ugly, it's made of steel. Mountain biking does that, you know.

In the end I will probably beg and play nice. I'll do my best to set up yet another group dinner thing no matter how hard the parties involved try to avoid eye contact with me. After all, there's something about Girl that I like.

I want to mount her,

And ride her...





bright red GSX-R600!



*******late add**********



WTF is with Match.com? They're now advertising on MySpace using a webcam-like ad. It gets really annoying. I mean, I was just there posting the link to this blog when I saw the ad. I had my pants around my ankles before I realized they were NOT going to get naked. F*CK!