Zero MPH Crash

How can someone have an ER inducing crash at zero miles per hour? Easy. If they have the walrus-like dexterity of Nonwheezer, they can pull it off no problem.



Last Wednesday, I decided to continue using these pedals. They're called "clipless." It sounds like a misnomer, but if you knew the history behind this type of pedals, the name would make sense. The original forms had a "clip," that went over the foot. This ones remove the clip and replaces it with a special clamp. The clamp matches a bracket that is mounted to biking shoes. Once you are clamped in, your foot is stuck to the pedal.

The benefit of such a pedal set up is that you can use full power throughout the entire pedal-stroke. With regular platform pedals, you can only push down. With the clipless, you can also pull up. This adds to your pedalling efficiency.

The downside is that if you're not careful, you can fall with your feet locked into the pedals. That's what happened to me. I had a minor knee-scraping fall in the parking lot before our ride. Unfortunately, my handlebar hit the ground, and my chin hit the handlebar. When I picked myself up, my friend noticed I was injured. I felt nothing except the blood dripping off my chin.



So off to the ER we went. Another ride cut short by my mad skillz.

Nurse: Wow! How did you manage to do that?

Nonwheezer: Um... sheer stupidity?

Nurse: Yeah, that will get you all the time.

Both the nurse and the doctor were very pretty blonde women.

I was in the ER for about 2 and a half hours. There were other emergencies, so my injury had to wait. It was ok though. I think I fell asleep. I know I felt surprisingly refreshed by the time the doctor started to stitch me up.



It turns out that my injury was a bit more complicated than a deep laceration. The end of the handlebar actually gouged out a bit of flesh. The doctor tried her best, but all she could do was sew up the edges to help close the wound a bit. It couldn't be sewn completely.

Nonwheezer: ...

Doc: You were going to say something? (with needle and suture in hand)

Nonwheezer: Yeah. I now have an embroidered chin. hehe.



I finally got out and headed home. I hadn't stopped bleeding since the crash, so I was concerned that bath time would be torture. But for some reason, my wound doesn't hurt. If it weren't for the tension of the sutures and bandaids, I would forget I have this injury.

Shaving was scary though. Fate played a stupid trick on me. For about 2 weeks I let my goatee grow. Now I had to spend a fair amount of time trying to remove as much facial hair as I could so my bandages would stick. I was afraid I would damage the sutures or reopen the wound, but I eventually completed the task ok.



And this is with me cleaned up and with part of the gash stitched.

Of course, Riley had to keep ragging me about the crash. He told everyone he knew about the ER visit. On and on he went.

But the Japanese believe in bachi. What goes around, comes around. Early Thursday morning, the abrasive Riley was goofing off while riding a MTB. He took a pedal to the shin. And that specific pedal had really long gripping pegs. He ended up with some nice holes in his leg.