Fantasy Island... for cheap.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

How was your Labor Day weekend?

It's not like I really care to know. I'm just asking so that I can talk about my weekend and gloat.

Yup, I had a great time. Pretty close to a Fantasy Island type mini-vacation. In fact, when it was over, I felt almost like Edward Anderton and Jocelyn Kirsch. If you don't know who they are, they are the young, attractive couple that ran an identity-fraud scheme. They stole the identities of their friends and neighbors, and used stolen funds to vacation in Hawaii, London, and Paris. But unlike them, I actually paid a little bit using my own money.

So what did my Fantasy Island weekend look like?

How about three nights in a million-dollar home. This house was located on a really lush hillside. My favorite part of the house was a former patio. It had been enclosed and made into an extension of the living/dining room. The walls were nearly all glass windows, and the room was surrounded by beautiful, large, green trees. It was like you could step out of the dining room and into a tropical rainforest. The rain at night added to the ambiance. That, and the house had great lighting with dimmer switches located everywhere to provide romantic mood lighting.

After spending the first night there, Botany Babe and I had brunch at a well established local restaurant that served good food with quick service and low prices. We had Quarter Pounder Meals.

Later that day, I went mountain biking. BB continued working on decorating an envelop box for a wedding. I may be biased, but I think she has great talent for decorating. She made a shit-ugly fishing box look like a present for the princess of Xanadu.

Then we met up at the $$$ House for our second night. This time, we spent the evening watching a classic movie on a 60 inch TV. You've never really experienced home theater until you've heard Jay say, "All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob," on a stereo surround sound system.

The next day BB went to church and I got to ride my motorcycle. BB got to show off her box (don't be thinking that about my girl) to her aunt, who then showered her with praise.

The third night went well. We got lots of sleep since we didn't have to be anywhere in the morning. We got out of bed at 9:30 instead of the usual 6:00. After washing up, we headed off to the mall.

We had an Asian style lunch. Very exotic. And reasonably priced too. (It was a Korean BBQ place) Then we went shopping. We didn't buy much, but we pretended we were big spenders. We looked at jewelry, and shoes, and pretty dresses. In the end, it's no fun to be in a mall without spending money, so we bought some tape and gum. Unfortunately, we ended up behind two old ladies at the register. It took us 15 minutes to get out of that store.

Once free of that retail establishment, we headed off to a spa located in a plantation-style resort. We got a couples massage... mmmm... It's a great feeling having someone rub your naked body for an hour. After that, we were feeling nice and mellow, so we laid in a hammock by the sea. It was the resort's hammock, and we weren't guests of the resort, but who cares? We enjoyed a nice hour cuddling to the sounds of waves crashing on shore.

Before we got too cozy, we headed off to yet another house we would never be able to afford. This one was located a bit off the beaten path. It was decorated with a classic touristy-adventurer theme. It was like a South Pacific movie poster. The house also had a great view. It overlooked about a mile of coffee fields with a clear view of the ocean.

But the real treat was the outdoor shower. BB and I were still slick with massage lotion on our bodies, so we hopped in the shower. Imagine a beautiful vine covered lava rock walled shower. There was very little wind, blue skies, and lots of hot water. I didn't want to get out.

And to finish off the great weekend, we ate free homestyle cooking courtesy of my mom. Heh.

PS: MPS and BiL, Machu Pichu tried to trick me into working for her at the farm fair. I didn't fall for it.