Dinner X3 with a Movie

Last time I tried to cook dinner for Botany Babe, it came out bland... a fact she has never let me forget. So to redeem myself, I vowed to cook her a good meal.

But first, there was a movie to see.

BB: Hey, what do you want to do tonight?

Nonwheezer: I don't know. Maybe we can just hang out and suck face?

BB: The new Jet Li movie came out.

NW: Really? Oh! Hmmm....!

BB: Hehe.

NW: Oh... I told Machu Pichu we would go and visit her this week. Wait. What if we go and see her before we go to the movie?

BB: OK. That sounds good.

NW: Yeah. Let me call her and let her know we're coming. I'll get her to cook us dinner too. She likes to barbecue.

(later...)

NW: Hey MP, what are you doing tomorrow night?

MP: Nothing. Why?

NW: BB and I will come over to your place.

MP: OK. What time?

NW: Oh, I figure about 6. We'll be going to the movies later. I would invite you along, but it's a Jet Li movie, and you hate kung fu.

MP: Yeah. 6? You guys want to have dinner?

NW: I thought you'd never ask.

MP: Haha! Yeah, right. So chicken?

NW: Nah. Steak. I plan on cooking chicken for BB for my second try.

MP: Steak? You gonna buy the steak for me?

NW: No.

MP: Bastard.

(that evening...)

I headed over to BB's place after dinner. We stayed in and watched a movie and sucked face.



The next evening we went over to MP's place and had steaks. After that, we headed to the movies.



Jet Li in the Mummy, yeah!

... errr.... no...

The movie sucked. Right off the bat, the movie was already putting me off. First, they said the first emperor of China, Qin Shi Huangdi, buried dead workers in the Great Wall. Um, you can't build a sturdy fortification with organic corpses that can rot away, weakening your structure.

Second, the picture they showed of the Great Wall...



Was really the Ming Wall, built over 1500 years later.

When I pointed out these errors, BB said, "you're so sexy when you talk history." Heh. I love her.

If you get free tickets to watch this movie, scalp them. When the movie was done, all I could think was that it was a waste of Jet Li. BB agreed saying that they really didn't need Jet Li to kick Brendan Fraser's ass. They could have gotten some random person to do that.

The following day, I took BB to the grocery store. It was dinner attempt #2. However, it figured that the store wouldn't have the kind of chicken I was looking for.



Chicken... how hard could it be to find chicken breasts?

I found some chicken patties and suggested dinner ala school lunch. BB just gave me a look. Pass on that idea.

So we ate out. Imu Hut. Good teri-fried chicken. If you're ever in Hanapepe, HI, try this place.



To make up for the lame movie, we watched another kung fu movie. This time with Jackie Chan. And even better, the bullshit in this movie was purely intentional.



BTW, dinner attempt #3 was successful. Baked chicken breast. heh.

Dinner with a View

Part of Botany Babe's job is to hike out in the boonies to collect rare plant samples. I figure it's a tough job, but sometimes you get to see some really cool things. On her last hike, BB took pictures of a few incredible views to share with me. I think they look so pretty that I have to share it with more people.







The other night I told BB that I was considering cooking for her again. Sigh... me and my big mouth. She told me how long she would stay with me depends on how well I cook. No pressure, huh?



So I arrived, ingredients in hand, and started cooking. Things seemed to go well. BB was in good spirits, albeit a little hungry. The food smelled decent enough.



And we sat down to eat. BB lit some candles for mood lighting, and played some nice music on her CD player. Things seemed to be going well...

Then she took a bite.

"This is... sort of... bland."

There went the relationship.

But it turned out sort of fun. It was like I was meant to screw up dinner. We had a good time making fun of my cooking, and trying out different spices to season my slop. However, the fact was my cooking sucked, and thus BB would have to end the relationship.

But wait!



I was clever enough to bring along dessert. Knowing BB's weakness for ice cream, I bought some mochi ice cream. It was enough to give me a second chance.

Now I plan on cooking some chicken...

What's Your Compassion?

"Hey, why don't you break off a piece of your meat and give it to those cats."

That started a whole conversation about compassion. I guess it makes sense to have a nice conversation with your friend about starving creatures while you're having dinner. Irony? Hmmm.

"What's your compassion," she asked.

Well, I'm not one to fed stray cats. I won't hurt them or torment them, nor would I make fun of their destitute situation and the fact that they cannot collect welfare. No. I'm not cruel. But I'm still not about to give them my dinner.

I explained that by letting the cats starve, I'm actually doing them a favor. By hastening their death in this mortal world, I'm giving them a quicker opportunity to be reincarnated as something higher up the evolutionary ladder.

By not feeding the stray cats, I'm letting them learn how to fend for themselves. If everyone feeds a stray, that stray will become too dependent on hand outs. Tough love.

And also, by not feeding them, I'm letting nature take its course. Humans tend to make a mess out of the environment whenever we interfere with nature. Who am I to interrupt the grand design. What if I had fed this cat and it had lived a day longer than it should. In the future, it ends up stepping on a micro-organism that would have evolved into the cure for cancer. Man, would my face be red.

As I explained my position, my friend fed the cats my dinner with my tacit approval.

Actions? Words? Hmmm.

How's Tricks?

Last night I went to dinner with my friend Machu Pichu. We had a burger and some fries, then headed to her place to surf the internet for cheap air tickets. Of course this is risky given all the problems the airline industries are suffering...

At her house, her dog, Honey, kept following me around like a crack addict school girl follows a stranger with candy. So I scratched her behind the ears. Then I felt guilty and dirty. I have a dog too, and playing with other people's dogs makes me feel like I'm cheating on a monogamous relationship. But I got over it and went to the bathroom. Honey followed me again. Why can't I get human females to be so interested in me?

After I was done marking my territory, I figured I would test Honey on how well trained she was.

"Sit."

Honey sat.

"Beg."

Honey begged.

"Speak."

Honey spoke.

"Change the oil in my car."

Honey changed the oil in my car but forgot to tighten the oil filter an extra 1/2 turn after gasket contact.

"Do my taxes."

Honey stared with a blank look.

"You didn't do your taxes yet," Machu Pichu asked.

"Oh, I did," I replied," but I wanted to see Honey do it."

Honey still had a blank look.

Which just goes to show you, boys and girls, that you can't teach an old dog new tricks.