What Makes Weird?

After hearing for the gajillionth time that I am weird, I decided it was time to address it. Am I weird? Let's do a self-study of Nonwheezer.

My name, Nonwheezer, has nothing to do with any bands. I used to smoke. I used to have asthma attacks. I've quit both after I started huffing and puffing after a rough bout of typing. Was it weird to make up a name like that? Weird score: 5


I grew up on a little Hawaiian island. I went through all grade schools here. I even attended UH. I did live on Oahu for a bit, and also the Big Island. I did manage to get kicked out of college by playing pool and video games all night long. Weirdness factor: 3


I'm currently a teacher for the Department of Education. I get paid barely above the national poverty line. I take sh!t from kids. I take sh!t from parents. I take sh!t from every Tom, Dick, and Harry who thinks they know anything about education. Doesn't bother me too much. I'm smarter than the kids and most of the parents, and TDH knows Jack and Sh!t. Yet I continue working because I believe that maybe I can actually help someone someday. Weirdo rating: 7


My personality? I hate using profanity around kids. Yes, they do imitate. If not, then they do realize that many adults actually do condone the use of profanity. Then, of course, the adults blame the schools.

I also try to expand my vocabulary each week. I don't go out memorizing the dictionary or anything. I just try to use different words that a lot of people wouldn't use in casual conversation. (indefatigable)

I believe in speaking politely to others. There was a nice movie quote that goes something like this: Manners are a way we show other people we care about them.

Weirdness: 9


My interests vary. I'm kind of eclectic. I used to rollerblade, speardive, fish, bowl, play in a bar dart league, drag race, play video games, play D&D, play in a band, get drunk, get stoned, and drive really fast. Weird rating: 8


Now I have two things I really enjoy. Riding my motorcycle, as you see from the profile, and mountain biking. Normally those would be considered k3wl, but I just ordered these:

so now the Weirdness rating is a 7.

What kind of music do I listen to? Major mixed up genres here. I just listen to what I enjoy. I have favorite songs by Beethoven, System of a Down, Offspring, Ayumi Hamasaki, Masaharu Fukuyama, Seal, LEN, Will Smith, whatever. Notice the hard rock, soft rock, alternative, rap? Those would be considered ok. The jpop, and classical gives me a major hit in the Weirdgnads. 8.


I love movies. All kinds of movies. Well, most kinds. Want to see a list of what's on my shelf?
The Court Jester (Danny Kaye musical)
On Guard (French swashbuckling)
Grandma's Boy (Happy Madison comedy)
X-Men
Guns and Talks (Korean adventure)
Densha Otoko (Japanese romance)
Yellowbeard (cult comedy classic)
12 Angry Men (Henry Fonda version)
Pretty mixed eh? Weirdo 6


Currently I watch Mythbusters. It's a show where nerds are cool. If you don't get the show, you're probably not nerdy enough to understand the science behind the fun and jokes. Kari Byron is hot too. And smart!

I also watch Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. The Venture Brothers is a great show. Well thought out, clever, yet also action packed and raunchy.

Besides Heroes, I don't watch much regular tv. I watch Japanese tv shows. I just finished the Bayside Shakedown series and now I'm on Garo.

Weirdy 6


Growing up my heroes were Kamen Rider V3 and Spiderman. V3 was a motorcycle rider who witnessed a murder by a terrorist organization. In retaliation, the terrorists kill his family. V3 under goes cybernetic surgery to make him into a grasshopper-like fighting machine. Henshin V3! kick ass.

I liked Spiderman because he didn't have much luck. He had power, but because he did think about it, his uncle got killed. He didn't have a cushy job or a billion dollars to support him. He struggled to make ends meet while balancing school and crime fighting. With the exception of having superpowers, he was real. But these henshin heroes and comic books champions make us nerdy. Weirdo factor 9.


Let's tally up the score. Add one, carry the two..

Ah, who gives a sh!t. You know, there are days when people will tease you. There are days when people try to get you down. Sure it can make you feel bad. Make you feel stupid. Make you feel angry. But what really matters is how you feel inside.

I get days when I get frustrated. I get days when I wish I was someone else. Who doesn't?

But then again, I get these wonderful little incidents. Like the time I was walking through an airport lobby. Several former students saw me and immediately yelled out my name. They crowded around me, happy to see me. Apparently they liked me. One of them even hugged me. In those little moments, I'm happy that I am who I am. Of those people who teased me or tried to put me down, how many of them can say that they made a difference in someone's life? How many can say they opened up the future of opportunities for a child?

So what is my Weirdness Rating? A big fat 1. And let me show it to you.


Hehe. I crack myself up.

Middle School Adventures Part 1

Ah, HAMS. The Hawaii Association of Middle Schools.

This group puts on annual conferences which gather together top teachers from schools all over the state. Not sure why I had to go.

No seriously, I was an afterthought. I was asked literally days before the event.

Anyway, this year's conference was held at Punahou Chase Middle School. It's on a different island from me. Which means I had to wake up at around 4:30 AM to get there on time. I woke up before the cocks get excited at the crack of dawn.

There were 10 of us all together. For some, Starbucks was a God-send. I'm glad I avoided it. I swear the employee that was in the bathroom with me did not wash his hands.


Our second order of business was to get our rental cars and head on over to the school. I was the errr... lucky one to get stuck in a car with Shara and Audrey.

Audrey went through each channel on the radio twice and still couldn't find a station she liked. She made me cower when she mentioned Tim McGraw.

As we passed the others, at incredible rates of speed, I looked out the window and prayed for salvation.

Shara: I bet Nate [teacher] wish he was in this car with the cool people.
Me: Who said you're cool?
Shara & Audrey: We did!
Me: ok. . . (meekly)
Shara: Dale Earnhardt Jr is a sissy.

She then proceeded to floor it. We passed 74 cars on the freeway, averaged 183 kmh, and placed 3rd at Charlotte.

When we arrived, they receptionists gave us funny hats and sheriff badges. Way to improve teacher morale! The keynote speaker was awesome though. She had a lot to say and yet was extremely entertaining. She spoke for about an hour and yet we wanted more.


After the speeches, we broke off into different sessions for training, tours, etc. I took the tour. When else would I ever be on a campus like Chase Middle? I'm not rich, and I'm not good enough to work here.

They say that Washington DC was designed to impress and awe visiting heads of state. They haven't seen Chase Middle. This is just the 6th grade entryway.


And their hallways.


And the students' common meeting area.


OK, We get it. I'm in frikking awe. Now stop rubbing it in. I mean I know I will never get this thing here:

air conditioning.

Anyway, after another session about technology in the classroom, something our tech coordinator already explained to us, it was lunch time. Audrey loves hats!


And food!


In this pic, from left to right: teachers.


For our viewing pleasure, a bunch of the students were forced to sing and dance. Dance you puppets, dance! HAHAHA! (they actually were really talented)


What followed was a really boring and useless session where the presenter had no useful information. Luckily my last session had a wonderful presenter who had great information about effective teaming. After that it was time for us to escape.

This is the teacher's parking. A gated, underground garage. I thought I was lucky we had painted lines in our parking lot.

On the way back we caught up with Nate. He had snuck out to a bar in Tijuana for a few drinks. He mentioned something about 12 year olds not being able to handle more than 2 shots of tequila before passing out. This shot came out blurry since he was too drunk for my camera to stay still.

The Unintelligentsia: L&L

Intelligentsia: intellectuals who form an artistic, social, or political vanguard or elite (Merriam-Webster Online). They were generally associated with eastern European revolutions and reforms.

I sometimes consider myself a part-time intelligentsia, at least in my corner of the world I am. I believe I help disseminate and develop culture on my little rock. For those who don't know me, I teach metaphysical education and paranormal phychiatry. Heavy stuff.


Now being a member of the intelligentsia is tough work. You have to be a role model. You will never know when someone is watching, so you always have to be on your best behavior. For me it means that even if I have flatus, I cannot expell it. I must hold on to that commodity to protect the image that my sh!t don't stink. I cannot scratch myself because the general public believes that my balls are perfect spheres. The work day can be tiring.


Once the work day is done and I head home, it's still not all fun and games. In the afternoon, I correspond with other semi-intelligentsia from around the world. This is why I rarely write in pidgin. I have readers from many states, including the 51st state, Canada. I also have an avid reader and deviate from the UK. I call them "semi" because although they are very smart, they fear outsiders. Thus, they don't fit the social qualification.


Enter Lorn and Lauren, the Unintelligentsia.
<---temporary picture until L or L send me a pic from the ride.

No Lorn, I am not calling you stupid.

The unintelligentsia, though intelligent, have the power to utterly destroy any attempts to develop meaningful culture. This is not always a bad thing since we know a lot of American culture stinks. In fact, the unintelligentsia are incredible people to have around. They are so obnoxious that you can't help but laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and laugh.


The unintelligentsia have no problem using words like fukk, sh!t, kuhnt in the presence of 5 year olds.


The unintelligentsia ponder, out loud, how it would be like to ride a motorcycle naked.


The unintelligentsia name my masculine, noble steed, Suzie.


The unintelligentsia say things like: You crash more often than I change underwear.


The unintelligentsia hit people really hard in places that lack armor just to test armor.


The unintelligentsia steal 20 packets of ketchup for 2 cheeseburgers and some fries.


The unintelligentsia will exclaim, "eureka," then disappear for 30 minutes before returning to explain that they learned how to move their a$$ an inch.


The unintelligentsia love to throw shoes.


The unintelligentsia don't mind body hair, hairy legs, or furry armpits.


The unintelligentsia speak a special sort of twin language. Much like Jodie Foster in Nell. Tayay een da ween!


The unintelligentsia will point out that although your head, back, shoulders, arms, hands, hips, knees, shins, ankles, feet are protected, your sacks are exposed.


The unintelligentsia make fun of your car.


The unintelligentsia do wind sprints at 4000 feet elevation and come back gasping, just for fun.


The unintelligentsia, upon finding out someone is your classmate, will say, "wow, Lo Pan [classmate] is really old."


The unintelligentsia never watched Big Trouble in Little China.


The unintelligentsia love watching you crash.


In the end, the unintelligentsia are just plain fun to be around. They have many saving graces. For one, they aren't afraid to get a little dirty if it means they can work on cars.


They're bikers.



and they are genuinely nice people, some of the times.


*The last statement was made under duress. I know if I say otherwise, Lorn will hit me again.*