How to succeed in the workplace: First, do not fall asleep during a mandatory presentation titled "Duties and Responsibilities of an Effective Teacher."
Second, try not to have the Principal be the one to wake you up.
Third, do whatever you can to stay awake during the presentation on teacher evaluations.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Just a little something
The other day we were having lunch after mountain biking. Riley asked J, who recently moved to Oahu, if he still didn't have a car.
"It's shouldn't be too bad if he doesn't. Oahu has an extensive public bus system," I said.
Riley then stopped eating. "You know, just 'cause you're a world traveler, doesn't mean you're Jacques Cousteau."
*****
Prior to returning to Hawaii, I went into a Best Buy to pick up a portable dvd player. Best Buy in St. Paul has a clever gimmick. They hire cute, blonde, college girls who actually have brains. Now seeing all these girls led me to believe an ad I saw (can't remember where I saw it) was real.
I walked to the check out. It was manned by a young man in his early 20s. He had long nerd hair and wore glasses. Near the check out area was the Geek Squad counter. I queried the register boy about the ad I saw...
"You work here, and there's a Geek Squad right there. Maybe you heard of this..."
"Heard of what, sir," the trader asked.
"Apparently there's a girl who got fired from the Geek Squad. She says she's in college and needs money. So now you can hire her to play World of Warcraft, in your home, nude."
"Play in the nude? Why would anyone want that?"
I looked at who I was talking to and decided to give up. "Nevermind."
True story!
"It's shouldn't be too bad if he doesn't. Oahu has an extensive public bus system," I said.
Riley then stopped eating. "You know, just 'cause you're a world traveler, doesn't mean you're Jacques Cousteau."
*****
Prior to returning to Hawaii, I went into a Best Buy to pick up a portable dvd player. Best Buy in St. Paul has a clever gimmick. They hire cute, blonde, college girls who actually have brains. Now seeing all these girls led me to believe an ad I saw (can't remember where I saw it) was real.
I walked to the check out. It was manned by a young man in his early 20s. He had long nerd hair and wore glasses. Near the check out area was the Geek Squad counter. I queried the register boy about the ad I saw...
"You work here, and there's a Geek Squad right there. Maybe you heard of this..."
"Heard of what, sir," the trader asked.
"Apparently there's a girl who got fired from the Geek Squad. She says she's in college and needs money. So now you can hire her to play World of Warcraft, in your home, nude."
"Play in the nude? Why would anyone want that?"
I looked at who I was talking to and decided to give up. "Nevermind."
True story!
National Tropical Botanical Gardens
There isn't going to be too much to write about in this installment. I just toured the NTBG and took a bunch of pictures.
After being in foreign cities for a month, I was kind of bored being back home. I hopped on my motorcycle and went riding. I stopped at the Spouting Horn and took some video on my cellphone. Unfortunately, I still haven't found a good, cheap (free), 3GPP2 video converter.
So after watching the ocean and tourist paying way too much for trinkets, I headed over to the NTBG. Machu Pichu works there.
You would think that at a garden, someone would water the grass.
It's almost as big as the world famous Minnehaha Falls.
These vines are over 150 years old.
Oh look. A monkey.
After being in foreign cities for a month, I was kind of bored being back home. I hopped on my motorcycle and went riding. I stopped at the Spouting Horn and took some video on my cellphone. Unfortunately, I still haven't found a good, cheap (free), 3GPP2 video converter.
So after watching the ocean and tourist paying way too much for trinkets, I headed over to the NTBG. Machu Pichu works there.
You would think that at a garden, someone would water the grass.
It's almost as big as the world famous Minnehaha Falls.
These vines are over 150 years old.
Oh look. A monkey.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Going, going, gone!
Camp House Grill, Kalaheo is closing down!
Machu Pichu is really sad about this. The burger joint was her favorite first-date spot. Her theory was that worth dating should be able to show up at this place on time. He should not be too good to eat at a run down burger joint. And he should be able to blend in.
There you go. Try blending into this place. Probably be easier if you had 6 legs and antennae.
I'm gonna miss the door that never closes.
I don't want to make it sound like the place was crap. The food was actually very tasty. The waitstaff, while not the fastest, was always friendly. Heck, I, myself, brought a date there once.
We had the last order of onion rings to be served in that restaurant. The owner handed us a pen and said we could write, "onion rings," and the date on the wall... or any other profanity we wanted. MP chose to draw an asshole using one of the onion rings as a template.
Machu Pichu is really sad about this. The burger joint was her favorite first-date spot. Her theory was that worth dating should be able to show up at this place on time. He should not be too good to eat at a run down burger joint. And he should be able to blend in.
There you go. Try blending into this place. Probably be easier if you had 6 legs and antennae.
I'm gonna miss the door that never closes.
I don't want to make it sound like the place was crap. The food was actually very tasty. The waitstaff, while not the fastest, was always friendly. Heck, I, myself, brought a date there once.
We had the last order of onion rings to be served in that restaurant. The owner handed us a pen and said we could write, "onion rings," and the date on the wall... or any other profanity we wanted. MP chose to draw an asshole using one of the onion rings as a template.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Omiyage
Omiyage means souvenir. On my trip, I picked up very little souvenirs to give away. In fact, I hardly bought anything. I bought a shotglass, a pair of moccasins, and a poster. That's it.
This is the poster:
I bought it because Riley is gay.
This is the poster:
I bought it because Riley is gay.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
One Week in Minnesota part Deux
Yes, after Chicago, I ended up back in Minnesota again. My 1.5 hour flight lasted 2.5 hours due to a thunderstorm. Nibbs, a member of the nerd group... err... Adventure Follies, kept a watch on my flight and picked me up at the MSP when I landed. Later we went out to get some Chinese food.
I wonder who will be the lucky one? I still haven't brought joy to anyone. Hmmm.
The next day we were heading off to Hinckley. Nibbs had to work in the morning first, though. So I decided to walk around South Saint Paul.
The first order of business was getting a set of house keys. Nibbs emailed me directions to her ex-husband's house, and called her daughter to let her know I was coming over. BTW, I had met the daughter the day before. Strange girl. Most girls would put on clothes when strangers come around. This one just held on to a blanket.
Oh, and the directions I got were crap. It would have sent me 3 blocks in the wrong direction.
The sleepy town of South St. Paul.
So I got a set of house keys, and started to explore the town.
Closed. Out backpacking.
Closed. Death in the family. With a very detailed note explaining everything.
Closed. Make an appointment.
Closed. Go somewhere else.
Closed for the season. Haha!
Open! Yes! A little diner where you have old men talking about politics and news. There were Korean War vets complaining about the war in Iraq, the election, politics, etc. Then they started talking about the new iPhone with all it's new features, including high speed internet access. These old farts knew their shit.
Best cheeseburger I had on this whole trip.
Seeing as South St. Paul wasn't cutting it for adventure, I hopped on a bus to downtown.
It was empty when I started. It filled up pretty quick.
Nibbs: Squiggy, where are you?
Me: I don't know. I'm on a bus to downtown.
Nibbs: OK. I finish work soon.
Me: Take your time.
(time passes)
Nibbs: Where are you? I finish work in 25 minutes.
Me: No idea. I'm still on the bus.
Made it to downtown St. Paul. Yeah!
Nibbs: OK, I'm done work. Picking you up now.
Crap. There went the exploring.
Since Hinckley was about 80 miles away, Nibbs decided to rent a car.
I had nothing better to do while paperwork was being filled out, so I went around the corner and bought some drinks and a package of M&Ms. I eventually convinced the entire staff of the rental place to partake in the M&M feast.
Ah, my own room. Pretty big room too. It was pretty nice to be able to sleep, shower, and shit whenever I wanted.
Hinckley is a casino town. That made it weird for me since I don't gamble. I hardly drink too. So I occupied myself by talking to the shop workers, and walking around the casino while people-watching.
Nibbs had her friend, Capital B, meet us there and the two of them went off to gamble. I headed back to my room for a shower. I later met them in the casino bar.
These white people really couldn't dance. If there are any women who like to go out dancing, this is one place where I would be willing to dance.
Scarekrow. A country band. They did a cover on a Prince song. I can't remember which song, but it was pretty surreal.
Yeah, I don't stick out in this crowd.
The next day, Nurse Cindy was supposed to arrive. He, yes "he", ended up driving to Brainerd, which is really far away. He had a slight mix up with his GPS. In the mean time, Nibbs, Capital B, and I had breakfast.
Say hi to Cameo.
Me: Your hair is very cute.
Cameo: Thanks.
Me: (later) Can I take your picture?
Cameo: Sure.
Me: Thanks. You look similar to a friend of mine. She's from Minnetonka.
I was talking about Machu Pichu. Cameo had the same hairdo and a similar round face.
Nurse Cindy then showed up. He arrived on the red-eye, and he worked a full day before his flight. So what did we do? We dragged him out to Duluth, which was only 86 miles away. I drove. (Why? Because you make me car sick. But don't go pulling that, "you should have turned back there," shit. The guy in the Accord thought that was funny.)
Everyone in MN said I should go to Duluth. It's on Lake Superior. Apparently it really was the place to be. There was a dog show and a reggae concert going on at the same time. All the Ruff-tafari were out in force.
We ended up in a place called Park Point. Looks pretty nice, eh?
I was checking out the sights.
Duluth coast on Lake Superior.
Nibbs gave this guy a dollar, so I took his picture. Had to get our money's worth.
A Neptunian phallic symbol.
We ate at Grandma's Saloon and Grill. Grandma also had a restaurant, several stores, and a cookie business. My grandma, on the other hand, was a barber.
This bridge goes up and down to let boats through. I had a mean blowjob on the bridge. The wind was gusting so hard that it would literally push you to the side.
The beach. It was cold and windy. No one would be half naked. So what's the point? We turned back. Halfway over the bridge and an alarm sounded. They were going to raise the bridge. Luckily they waited for us to get to the other side.
This hottie couldn't stop taking pictures. I think she liked BIG THINGS that STRADDLES WET BODIES of water and GO DOWN.
At least one Dave was here.
Machu Pichu used to go on and on about Caribou Coffee. I finally went in and got a drink. Tasted like Starbucks to me.
At the table next to us, an older woman was writing in a little book. As we were leaving, I asked what she was writing. She said she was just keeping a journal, and that she was playing hooky from work.
Further down the street we passed a shop with a sign that said: Floor show and jazz. I asked NC, "floor show? What's that? Is that like hard wood? Pine? Maybe shag carpeting?" The older woman passed by. "It's a strip show," she said. Ah. Heh.
Get off my back.
Ahhhhhhhh... relief...
Once we hit the interstate for the drive back, Nibbs and NC fell asleep. Thanks guys. I always wanted to drive 86 miles in total silence.
The next day we left Hinckley and got back into South St. Paul. We found an Italian place that had great all-you-can-eat spaghetti.
It's SODA. While the Midwest may say POP, the rest of the civilized world says SODA. The weirdos in the south say COKE. It was a major topic for debate in the Enterprise rental office, Hinckley, and Duluth.
After dinner, back at Nibb's place, I heard some noise from the park across the street.
Community league kickball! How cool is that?
The next day I decided to ride the light rail system in Minneapolis. It's only one line so far, but hey, I love public transportation.
This train was way too clean.
It took me to downtown Minneapolis.
To a place called Nicollet Mall. It's several blocks of buildings lining Nicollet Avenue. Each building has several stores and businesses inside.
Some even have cool lobbies. And since MN tends to get cold in the winter...
They have skyways between buildings.
I actually thought this was common sense.
Since I was out early in the morning, most of these businesses were still closed. So I hopped on the train and headed to the Mall of America.
The Mall had just opened, so it was still dead. This girl had some time to kill before kids would start rushing her skin painting booth.
Since I already did the mall two weeks ago, I was bored. Luckily NC was around. We drove to God knows where just for fun.
Now you can purchase your own Asian.
NC and I ended up in downtown St. Paul. We were trying to find some place to eat. But guess what? Downtown was like South St. Paul. Every place was fricking closed. Seriously. We tried like 5 restaurants and they were all closed.
We ended up eating in one of these diner cars.
Then we spent the evening kicking back in Nibb's house until dinner. That was a fiasco too. The first few places we tried were closed. I wasn't surprised. Applebee's was open though.
Say hi to Amy.
Amy came to our table and asked if we wanted anything to drink. She put some cardboard coasters on the table. They had beer ads on them.
"Hey, you guys serve beer here!"
"Yes we do," Amy said. She listed off a long list of beers.
"Do you have Mic Ultra?"
"Yes. Not draft though. It'll be in a bottle," Amy said.
"Stop being a sissy," Nibbs chimed in. "Drink a real beer."
"I like Ultra too," said Amy.
"Me too. It's great for watching the figure... not that you would need it," I said.
"They even have fruit flavored Ultra now," Amy said.
"Really? Maybe I should try that."
"Oh, we don't have the fruity ones. Besides, you're a man. You don't need the fruity drinks," said Amy.
"Yeah. I'm a man! Yeah!" And I flexed.
I would later make life hell for Amy. I couldn't figure out a dinner combo without ending up with two salads. Eventually we figured out a 7oz steak, with a ceasar salad (no dressing), French onion soup, and a hot fudge dessert.
Amy came out with my soup. It had cheese in it. I didn't know French onion came with cheese. I wasn't even halfway through the soup when Amy came back with my salad.
"Whoa. You're doing a good job of feeding me. You're one of those marrying types."
Amy laughed. "I don't think so. I'm not the one cooking the food."
"Doesn't matter. You're the one providing it for the man," I said with a smile. Gotta love waitresses. They have to put up with all the shit and lame jokes with a smile.
Before we left, I asked Amy if I could take her picture. Nibbs told her it was for my blog. Amy laughed right when I clicked the pic, so she looks funny. She didn't care. She said she always looked bad so it didn't matter. (I disagree with her looking bad.)
Time for me to fly back home.
Phoenix.
"Attention passengers, this is the captain speaking. The good news is that we arrived 20 minutes ahead of schedule. The bad news is that our gate is not ready so we will have to wait on the tarmac until it clears."
(15 minutes go by)
"OK, here's an update. The aircraft at the gate is starting its pushback so we will be able to pull in shortly."
(more minutes go by)
"Attention passengers. Earlier I said we would be pulling in shortly. Well, the pushback has been completed, but now a tug has broken down..."
I eventually made it to the airport.
I wonder who will be the lucky one? I still haven't brought joy to anyone. Hmmm.
The next day we were heading off to Hinckley. Nibbs had to work in the morning first, though. So I decided to walk around South Saint Paul.
The first order of business was getting a set of house keys. Nibbs emailed me directions to her ex-husband's house, and called her daughter to let her know I was coming over. BTW, I had met the daughter the day before. Strange girl. Most girls would put on clothes when strangers come around. This one just held on to a blanket.
Oh, and the directions I got were crap. It would have sent me 3 blocks in the wrong direction.
The sleepy town of South St. Paul.
So I got a set of house keys, and started to explore the town.
Closed. Out backpacking.
Closed. Death in the family. With a very detailed note explaining everything.
Closed. Make an appointment.
Closed. Go somewhere else.
Closed for the season. Haha!
Open! Yes! A little diner where you have old men talking about politics and news. There were Korean War vets complaining about the war in Iraq, the election, politics, etc. Then they started talking about the new iPhone with all it's new features, including high speed internet access. These old farts knew their shit.
Best cheeseburger I had on this whole trip.
Seeing as South St. Paul wasn't cutting it for adventure, I hopped on a bus to downtown.
It was empty when I started. It filled up pretty quick.
Nibbs: Squiggy, where are you?
Me: I don't know. I'm on a bus to downtown.
Nibbs: OK. I finish work soon.
Me: Take your time.
(time passes)
Nibbs: Where are you? I finish work in 25 minutes.
Me: No idea. I'm still on the bus.
Made it to downtown St. Paul. Yeah!
Nibbs: OK, I'm done work. Picking you up now.
Crap. There went the exploring.
Since Hinckley was about 80 miles away, Nibbs decided to rent a car.
I had nothing better to do while paperwork was being filled out, so I went around the corner and bought some drinks and a package of M&Ms. I eventually convinced the entire staff of the rental place to partake in the M&M feast.
Ah, my own room. Pretty big room too. It was pretty nice to be able to sleep, shower, and shit whenever I wanted.
Hinckley is a casino town. That made it weird for me since I don't gamble. I hardly drink too. So I occupied myself by talking to the shop workers, and walking around the casino while people-watching.
Nibbs had her friend, Capital B, meet us there and the two of them went off to gamble. I headed back to my room for a shower. I later met them in the casino bar.
These white people really couldn't dance. If there are any women who like to go out dancing, this is one place where I would be willing to dance.
Scarekrow. A country band. They did a cover on a Prince song. I can't remember which song, but it was pretty surreal.
Yeah, I don't stick out in this crowd.
The next day, Nurse Cindy was supposed to arrive. He, yes "he", ended up driving to Brainerd, which is really far away. He had a slight mix up with his GPS. In the mean time, Nibbs, Capital B, and I had breakfast.
Say hi to Cameo.
Me: Your hair is very cute.
Cameo: Thanks.
Me: (later) Can I take your picture?
Cameo: Sure.
Me: Thanks. You look similar to a friend of mine. She's from Minnetonka.
I was talking about Machu Pichu. Cameo had the same hairdo and a similar round face.
Nurse Cindy then showed up. He arrived on the red-eye, and he worked a full day before his flight. So what did we do? We dragged him out to Duluth, which was only 86 miles away. I drove. (Why? Because you make me car sick. But don't go pulling that, "you should have turned back there," shit. The guy in the Accord thought that was funny.)
Everyone in MN said I should go to Duluth. It's on Lake Superior. Apparently it really was the place to be. There was a dog show and a reggae concert going on at the same time. All the Ruff-tafari were out in force.
We ended up in a place called Park Point. Looks pretty nice, eh?
I was checking out the sights.
Duluth coast on Lake Superior.
Nibbs gave this guy a dollar, so I took his picture. Had to get our money's worth.
A Neptunian phallic symbol.
We ate at Grandma's Saloon and Grill. Grandma also had a restaurant, several stores, and a cookie business. My grandma, on the other hand, was a barber.
This bridge goes up and down to let boats through. I had a mean blowjob on the bridge. The wind was gusting so hard that it would literally push you to the side.
The beach. It was cold and windy. No one would be half naked. So what's the point? We turned back. Halfway over the bridge and an alarm sounded. They were going to raise the bridge. Luckily they waited for us to get to the other side.
This hottie couldn't stop taking pictures. I think she liked BIG THINGS that STRADDLES WET BODIES of water and GO DOWN.
At least one Dave was here.
Machu Pichu used to go on and on about Caribou Coffee. I finally went in and got a drink. Tasted like Starbucks to me.
At the table next to us, an older woman was writing in a little book. As we were leaving, I asked what she was writing. She said she was just keeping a journal, and that she was playing hooky from work.
Further down the street we passed a shop with a sign that said: Floor show and jazz. I asked NC, "floor show? What's that? Is that like hard wood? Pine? Maybe shag carpeting?" The older woman passed by. "It's a strip show," she said. Ah. Heh.
Get off my back.
Ahhhhhhhh... relief...
Once we hit the interstate for the drive back, Nibbs and NC fell asleep. Thanks guys. I always wanted to drive 86 miles in total silence.
The next day we left Hinckley and got back into South St. Paul. We found an Italian place that had great all-you-can-eat spaghetti.
It's SODA. While the Midwest may say POP, the rest of the civilized world says SODA. The weirdos in the south say COKE. It was a major topic for debate in the Enterprise rental office, Hinckley, and Duluth.
After dinner, back at Nibb's place, I heard some noise from the park across the street.
Community league kickball! How cool is that?
The next day I decided to ride the light rail system in Minneapolis. It's only one line so far, but hey, I love public transportation.
This train was way too clean.
It took me to downtown Minneapolis.
To a place called Nicollet Mall. It's several blocks of buildings lining Nicollet Avenue. Each building has several stores and businesses inside.
Some even have cool lobbies. And since MN tends to get cold in the winter...
They have skyways between buildings.
I actually thought this was common sense.
Since I was out early in the morning, most of these businesses were still closed. So I hopped on the train and headed to the Mall of America.
The Mall had just opened, so it was still dead. This girl had some time to kill before kids would start rushing her skin painting booth.
Since I already did the mall two weeks ago, I was bored. Luckily NC was around. We drove to God knows where just for fun.
Now you can purchase your own Asian.
NC and I ended up in downtown St. Paul. We were trying to find some place to eat. But guess what? Downtown was like South St. Paul. Every place was fricking closed. Seriously. We tried like 5 restaurants and they were all closed.
We ended up eating in one of these diner cars.
Then we spent the evening kicking back in Nibb's house until dinner. That was a fiasco too. The first few places we tried were closed. I wasn't surprised. Applebee's was open though.
Say hi to Amy.
Amy came to our table and asked if we wanted anything to drink. She put some cardboard coasters on the table. They had beer ads on them.
"Hey, you guys serve beer here!"
"Yes we do," Amy said. She listed off a long list of beers.
"Do you have Mic Ultra?"
"Yes. Not draft though. It'll be in a bottle," Amy said.
"Stop being a sissy," Nibbs chimed in. "Drink a real beer."
"I like Ultra too," said Amy.
"Me too. It's great for watching the figure... not that you would need it," I said.
"They even have fruit flavored Ultra now," Amy said.
"Really? Maybe I should try that."
"Oh, we don't have the fruity ones. Besides, you're a man. You don't need the fruity drinks," said Amy.
"Yeah. I'm a man! Yeah!" And I flexed.
I would later make life hell for Amy. I couldn't figure out a dinner combo without ending up with two salads. Eventually we figured out a 7oz steak, with a ceasar salad (no dressing), French onion soup, and a hot fudge dessert.
Amy came out with my soup. It had cheese in it. I didn't know French onion came with cheese. I wasn't even halfway through the soup when Amy came back with my salad.
"Whoa. You're doing a good job of feeding me. You're one of those marrying types."
Amy laughed. "I don't think so. I'm not the one cooking the food."
"Doesn't matter. You're the one providing it for the man," I said with a smile. Gotta love waitresses. They have to put up with all the shit and lame jokes with a smile.
Before we left, I asked Amy if I could take her picture. Nibbs told her it was for my blog. Amy laughed right when I clicked the pic, so she looks funny. She didn't care. She said she always looked bad so it didn't matter. (I disagree with her looking bad.)
Time for me to fly back home.
Phoenix.
"Attention passengers, this is the captain speaking. The good news is that we arrived 20 minutes ahead of schedule. The bad news is that our gate is not ready so we will have to wait on the tarmac until it clears."
(15 minutes go by)
"OK, here's an update. The aircraft at the gate is starting its pushback so we will be able to pull in shortly."
(more minutes go by)
"Attention passengers. Earlier I said we would be pulling in shortly. Well, the pushback has been completed, but now a tug has broken down..."
I eventually made it to the airport.
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