Ears De Bergerac

"Hey, I was just naked, rubbing myself, when I thought of you. No, I was in the shower."

Ever answer a phone like that?

Today's topic is a play called Cyrano de Bergerac. Not many people around these parts have heard of it, so I figured I would give it some airtime on this unread blog. For the sake of those with goldfish attention spans, I'll use the Steve Martin Roxanne version. It's a modern retelling.



CD Barns (nice initials) is a quiet town fireman. He's smart, well read, clever, and an all-around nice guy. However, he has a huge nose.

Roxanne is an astronomer that comes to town. CD is smitten with her, but he doesn't disclose this fact because of his big nose.

Chris is a professional fireman the town hires to help out the volunteer squad. He's described as a handsome viking. He's as bright as a burnt match.



Roxanne is attracted to Chris' good looks, but she wants the brains to go with that. Greedy witch. So Chris enlists CD to be his writer. CD complies and eventually wins Roxanne's heart... for Chris.

Roxanne later finds out, arguments ensue, and then all is well at the end of the movie.



The funny thing is that I'm currently living a similar situation. Let me explain.

Ears is a college graduate and currently a middle school teacher. He writes pointless blogs. He's also ugly as sin.



Roxanne is a college student with an hourglass figure. She does not have a fat ass.



Rat is a guy who remains rather speechless around women, but is an all-around nice guy.

Now Rat and Roxanne has been corresponding via the intraweb for 279 days before they finally met face to face. The first meeting had Ear's helping hand. Starting to see the similarities?

One is loud and obnoxious. Conversation consists of stringing random words together and saying them loudly.



The other is a wallflower. Shy and demure.



Now if I can succeed in bringing them together and getting them to be good friends, then my mtb group can get a new person and my sportbike group can get a new person. We can all be one big happy family.



Some people reading this may think I'm meddling in the affairs of others. I'll have you know that it's true. heh.