Ailments, Aging, and Androgyny

There were no real big topics that popped in my head this whole week. I did have a few mini-topics, but nothing really worth sitting down to write. Then I noticed that I haven't written anything in a whole week. Guess I'll just jot down my little minis into one post.

About a week and a half ago, I got a cold sore. No, it's not genital herpes. I would have had to eaten some bad clam to get that, and unfortunately, I haven't eaten any shellfish in a while. This sucker was on the inside of my bottom lip, right in front of my teeth. If I used my mouth for any reason, it hurt. Brushing, eating, ventriloquism, they all hurt. It put a damper on my nightclub routine.



And just to make life more interesting, right when the cold sore no longer hurt and was disappearing, I got a pimple right on my nose.



It wasn't any old pimple too. It was the grand-daddy of pimples. It was the sebaceous cyst! It's the orca of acne.



So I got two choices now. I could try and schedule an appointment with the ONE dermatologist on the whole island and maybe get to see him by April, or, I can wait it out. Gonna be a long month.

*****

Lately I've been seeing signs of aging. I noticed that it takes me much longer to recover from colds than when I was young. I seem to take about a week now which can suck because I managed to get two colds this year. I was planning on getting a flu shot at the start of the flu season, but then I got the flu. So I figured I was done for the season. Then I got another bout a month later. I am so awesome at foresight.

As I age, I keep an eye out for gray hair. I usually have a mop-top head since I'm too lazy to get a hair cut. I used to Flowbee my head rather than take time to go to a salon. But my hair still remains black like usual.



Except for my chin whiskers.



How is it I can have a gray beard but black hair? It gets worse.

The other day I looked down "there," while I peed. Next to my penette (a penis, only smaller) was a gray pubic hair. WTF?



I didn't even know that could happen. I plucked that sucker out. (The hair, not the penette.)

*****

I was on the phone with a female friend.

"I'd like to see you get really mad for once," she said.

"You sure? Because I would punch a girl."

She seemed taken aback by my statement. I guess it does seem misogynistic and violent.



Don't get me wrong. I don't condone violence against women, or any violence at all. I'm not suggesting that I would go out and randomly punch a woman for kicks.

Donkey punching is still subject to negotiation.

I just believe that if anyone attacks or intends to harm me or my charges, I would use everything in my power to eliminate that threat. Doesn't matter if the assailant is male or female.

You see, I'm not advocating battering women. I'm advocating gender equality. Equal rights and all that jazz!



I'm progressive like that.