Truth in Advertising: Willy

This is going to be crude.

Today's topic for Truth in Advertising is a young man named Willy. It's an appropriate name. Willy has a big willy. He's a bull.



This is Willy. Quite the stud eh? He's a seventeen year old high school student, and one heck of a mountain bike rider.



You may have seen him co-starring in a short movie called Playground.



Now here's the thing. Willy got himself a big tool.



A hammer, if you will. And he uses it to nail, and pound, and hit anything with a vagina and two legs. And I think the girls can either sense it, or they can pick up his genitallic scent because they're rushing for a chance to ride his baloney pony.



I'm not kidding. Girls are literally throwing themselves at him. He's one of the few guys who can do the "smell my finger," routine and have three different punchlines at the same time.



It's lucky for Willy that Cosco opened a store on this island. He can now buy his condoms in bulk. It's also lucky for Malaysia since their GNP rose 8% just on the rubber sales.



If you watched the video, you'd notice that Willy rides with jeans. He has to. Three weeks ago he tried to ride without jeans and his donkey cock kept flapping in the breeze.



One silver-haired granny saw him ride past and remarked, "oh deary my! I haven't been this excited since Nimitz issued shore leave."



Calling Willy's willy a donkey cock may not be all too fair. A more apt description would be whale dork.



I'm serious. In fact, today he was following me on the downhill ride and I felt him tap me on the shoulder. When I looked back, he still had both hands on the handlebar. I never pedalled as desperately as I did today.

I also heard that Ron Jeremy is secretly paying Willy to not show his penis on any public media.



I know some of you reading this are thinking that I'm jealous. Truth be told, yes I am. Willy is such a selfish fuck! How the hell is a mild mannered micro-cock supposed to get any play when Willy's hogging all the chicks?



I'm seething. grrrr.

Even Riley is dumbfounded at the size differential.