Phone Sex

"Good evening. This is Jasmine with the Department of Health. May I speak with the second oldest male in the house?"

That's ME!!!!!!! (feigned excitement. feigned age.)

...

"Uh, yes, the reason I am calling is because your number has been randomly selected..."

Randomly? How can it be random if this is the fourth time you called us? I mean, you guys already called us three times before this. How can it be random?

"Um... That's because we're doing a survey and it's really important..."

Hey Jasmine, you're with the Department of Health. Is high blood pressure unhealthy?



"Um, I'm not sure."

You know, it must be. High blood pressure damages the capillaries; wears out the organs. Yeah. It must be bad for your health.

"I guess so."

So why are you trying to give me high blood pressure, Jasmine?

"I'm not trying to."

But you are, Jasmine. You guys called before, and each time we said we didn't want to participate. Yet you guys insist we must. You guys try to coerce us.

"We're not trying to coerce anyone. It's just important that we do this survey..."

Do you get a commission on each completed survey?



"Uh, no I don't."

I was just wondering since you seem so adamant about me taking this survey. I mean, telemarketers aren't this pushy.

"I'm not trying to be pushy. This is a very important survey..."

That important huh? You would think that on a survey that important, you wouldn't want uncooperative people participating. I mean, if the survey is that important, you wouldn't want to compromise your data with some false information. Hey Jasmine, how about I agree to take your survey then lie on all my answers. Would that be ok?



"Why would you do that?"

Because, Jasmine, as I was saying, I... don't... want... to... participate... in... this... survey.

...

"Have a good evening, sir."

You too Jasmine. You have an excellent evening yourself. Goodbye.